Does this mean I'm just human or a full-on hypocrite?

Recently I read the following by Francis Chan that captured some of how I've been feeling the past few months:

I wonder if the inconsistency in my walk with God has anything to do with the fact that I can lead a . . . church in America without being in love with Jesus. I’m sure I could blame American church culture, my position, or a busy schedule for my lack of reverent intimacy. The truth, however, is that my sin and hypocrisy is a result of me. It’s not like I don’t want to.

In fact, when I’m deeply in prayer, it’s clear to me that there’s no place I’d rather be. I know that I love God. When I sit and think about Him, I’m filled with intense feelings of adoration. I’m convinced that He means more to me than my wife, kids, or anyone else on the planet. I just forget to love Him.

I'm aware that many (read, 'all') of us struggle with these same feelings. It just seems extra egregious since I'm a pastor. But it does no good to hide or pretend - from others or God.

As many of you know, I've been dwelling a lot on the Kingdom of God and what it means to really live in the Kingdom. As Paul said: 'The Kingdom of God is not about fancy talk, but living in God's power!' How much of the time do I use fancy talk (or 'pretend living') as a cheap saccarin substitute for living in God's power? Too much.

I spend too much of my life caring about what other people think. Too much time living under the inertia of life, without inhaling from the Holy Spirit. I know that the answer is Jesus. Jesus is Lord. And life in Him is abundant and powerful!

I am so tired of substitutes. I'm sick of how they suck life out of me. I'm ashamed of how they make God look weak and tired.

I'm tired of forgetting. I want to fully display His glory! Help me Jesus that I would learn more and more about seeking you first. And that you might increase . . .