Parenting and Teens

For some reason I've been holding onto this post for some time . . . I'm taking a little bit of a risk writing it because I know that my kids will read it, but at the same time I know that they know my heart.

Tim Stevens (whose a blogger and pastor I really like) blogged about parenting teens and how he perceives that our influence as parents decreases greatly when our kids go into their teen years, while their peers influence increases greatly. You can read the entire blog here . . . his ultimate point was that the environment that we put our kids in matters immensely.

But I kind of fixated on the whole idea of how and when our influence with our kids decreases . . . he even had a chart based on his on informal survey which I copied . . .

Now, below is my comment that I wrote on his blog. What do you think? Do you think I'm off base? What does your experience and heart tell you? What about some of you who are teens or recently were teens, who influences you the most? Why?

And how does all this help us to love those we love the most?

Here was my comment:

I'm jumping in late here -- but I only have time to read my blogs about once a week because I've got 4 stinkin' teenagers :) (18,16,16,14)

Without a doubt - for me - it's now the hardest season of parenting. (Changing diapers seems like playing with Lincoln Logs about right now!)
Probably because I'm normally not near broken enough and it requires more humility than ever before. Humility to not always be the top person in their life. Humility to let them make mistakes. Humility to not respond with jealously every time some punk :) comes chasing after one of my beautiful daughters (oldest 3 are girls). Humility to engage them where they are.

At the same time I must also - from my experience - disagree with your chart (and agree some with the person who said that much of this is perceived) because I do know that my kids still deeply desire my presence and loving leadership in their lives. I know that I still influence them as much as anyone. I just have to do it differently than I have before. I must engage them more and more on an adult level. I must be sensitive to where they are emotionally and appeal to their heart and the consequences of right and wrong decisions, while allowing them to choose at appropriate levels.

I like you Tim am not sure how all of this is going to turn out . . . but I do know that I'm going to keep fighting for my kids lives!